Billy Graham once said “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society “

Its interesting to me because the older I get, the more I realize how true this is. And yet, when you read
through the Bible, it’s hard to find good dads like that. In fact, some of the most successful men of God outside the home were complete failures inside the home.

Look at King David. He was so busy running the kingdom of Israel that he had no time to take care of the kingdom of David!  His sons turned out to be a bunch of rebels! 2 Samuel 13 exposes the type of men they grew to be.

And what about Solomon? He was so busy trying to please his 700 wives and his 300 girlfriends that he didn’t have much time for his kids until he got old. And wrote the book of Proverbs.

And the same thing is true of Samuel. In 1 Samuel 8, when Israel asked for a king, Samuel said, "What about my sons? And the people of Israel said, "No way, man! Your sons are a bunch of evil pagans! They take bribes. They pervert justice. Forget it!"

Samuel was a powerful prophet. But he was a failed father...why?  Simple he wasn’t involved enough in their lives.
Its been said, anyone can be a father but it takes a special, faithful man to be a dad.  Proverbs 20:6 asks a very sobering question.  “But a faithful man – who can find?”  If there was any a day when our family, our nation, our world needed faithful men....today is that day. 

Every day 299,000 men become a first-time father. We become fathers without any training or instruction....If these new fathers along with all fathers would resolve to stand for righteousness, resolve to behave Godly, men > we could change the world starting with our own. 

Dr. Richard Halverson, Chaplain of the United States Senate for many years said it this way after 69 years of life and forty two years of marriage...“It is my deep, settled conviction that one hundred percent of the responsibility for the sustenance of the marriage relationship belongs to the husband. The scriptures tell us that as husbands we need to model ourselves after Jesus Christ, who gave Himself up in every way in order to present His bride to Himself without blemish or stain or spot or wrinkle.”

Father is a special title and a special work.  Father is the same positional, relational title that the bible assigns to Almighty God...who is love, who is truth and who is strength.  I am convinced that, and maybe I am a bit biased, but I am convinced that the calling a dad has on his life is powerful to the point where simply by position, dad can carry or crumble his family.

Listen to these staggering facts...

• Fatherless daughters are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers
• Fatherless daughters are 111% more likely to have children as teenagers.
• Fatherless daughters are 164% more likely to have an out-of-wedlock birth
• Fatherless daughters have a 92% higher divorce rate than girls raised with Dads in the home.
• Fatherless sons are 35% more likely to experience marital failure
• Fatherless sons are 300% more likely to become incarcerated in state juvenile institutions
• Fatherless children make up 70% of all juveniles in state institutions

• Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of high school
• Fatherless children have only half the chance of being high achievers
(According to the National Association of Elementary School Principals, 33% of children from two-parent families become high achievers, while only 17% of children from single-parent homes become high achievers.)
• Fatherless children are 50% more likely to have learning disabilities.

EX...
• According to the National Center for Health Statistics, Fatherless children are anywhere from 100 to 200% more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems.
• Fatherless young adults are twice as likely to need and receive psychological help.
• According to our nation’s hospitals, 80% of adolescents admitted for psychiatric reasons come from fatherless families.

The metrics are absolutely staggering and send a very clear message regarding the seriousness, importance and significance of the dad.  A man named David Moore studied the statistics that we just went through and concluded...“From relationships, education, to mental instability, to crime, one factor looms as the most significant contributor: A home without a dad.”

Guys, this is the theme of my plea with you today.  Men, this is the purpose of your calling as a father.  Your attention please....YOUR CHILDREN NEED YOU MORE THAN YOU REALIZE

I want to offer you some biblical principals today given to us by our Father in heaven...the world will tell you to chase success, get money, get power, get get get get get...but the results of that advice is utter tragedy....God is such a good Father to us...it is His advice, His direction....we follow if we are to fulfill the role of dad that has been bestowed upon us....

First, godly fathers have time. Ephesians 6:4 says "Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Godly dads do not have confused priorities. They don’t put their work ahead of their family. They know that except for almighty God Himself, the wife and the kids come first!

I read a story about a Christian attorney. And he was talking about the influence of his father on his life. And he said that "The greatest gift my dad ever gave me was when I was a little boy. It was a small box. Inside the box was a note saying, "Son, this year I will give you 365 hours, an hour every day after supper. It’s all yours. We’ll talk about what you want to talk about. We’ll go where you want to go. Play what you want to play. It will be your hour."

"My dad not only kept his promise," the lawyer said, "but every year he renewed it. It is the greatest gift I ever had in my life. And I am the Christian man I am today because of my dad."  This father gave his son the greatest gift a father can give: The gift of time. Godly fathers don’t find time for their kids. They MAKE time.

A second thing that is true of Godly dads is that they are compassionate. Luke 15:20 says that while the prodigal son was still a long way off, the father saw him and was filled with compassion.

As a man, I don't always feel that way.  A part of me wants to say I told you not to run off like that. But you didn’t listen! You made your bed. Now you gotta lie in it, son. If you want my love and respect back, you gotta earn it, boy!"

But that’s not what the father said. He said, "Wait a minute! I think I see my son! He’s coming home! I know he made some bad choices. He ruined his life. But he’s still my child! It’s like he’s back from the dead! And I am so glad to have him in my life again!"

And you know what? That’s exactly how God feels about us. We also have made some bad choices. We too have run away from God. And like the prodigal son, we too are a long way off from being what we ought to be. But every time one of you comes back to God, he says, "That’s my child! I love you with all my heart! And I’m so glad to have you back in my life again!"

Third, Godly dad's are fair. One of the things I really like about the dad in the prodigal son story is that he loved both sons equally. In verse 28, the father pleads with the other son: "Come and celebrate with us. This party is not complete without you. Please come and join us."

Today I'm presenting what a Godly dad looks like...God, our Father, is a fair Father.  Psalm 145:17 says that he is loving toward ALL he has made. He loves all of us the same.  No matter who we are or what we’ve done.
There’s a neat story about the evangelist D.L Moody. One night, he was preaching in a big circus tent in Chicago. His text was Luke 19:10: "The Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." After he had finished, a little boy was brought to the platform by an officer, who had found the boy
wandering in the crowd lost. Rev. Moody took the child in his arms and asked the crowd to look at him. Then he said, "The father of this child is more anxious to find the child than the child is to be found. So it is with our heavenly Father. He has been looking for you to come back to him for many years."

At that moment, a man with a worried look on his face elbowed his way to the platform. The boy saw him and ran to his father and threw himself into his outstretched arms. And the crowd broke out into a mighty cheer. Then Moody said, "God will receive you in the same way if you run back to Him today."

Father's, it is so important for us to realize that the worldly example, has nothing for us.  It is so important for us to realize that our children, our wives depend on us, need us and LOVE us so much more than we know.  God has not left us alone.  He is with us, He is for us and He has provided guidance, power, love, strength, endurance...He has provided His attention, His compassion, His fairness...all that we need to walk in this great and awesome calling that He in His sovereignty has placed on our lives. 

Dad's a few pitfalls that must be avoided...

First.  Arrogance.  Most of us think we are Rambo, John Wayne, Chuck Norris and Albert Einstein all wrapped up into one person.  A wife once said that if you could buy her husband for what he is worth and sell him for what he thinks he is worth, you'd make a huge profit....guys, humility is needed in the home.  Sacrifice for your families is needed in the home and the first step is to watch for, identify and swiftly address arrogance.

Second, autocracy.  Because most men have such a big ego, they really like to act like the “Big Boss” around the house. We misinterpret the passages of scripture that talk of the husband as being the “Head of the wife” to be that he is her boss. So we sometimes act like a dictatorial tyrant around the house.  Fellas, if you are autocratic in your home...You are headed for serious trouble. Your children will rebel and your wife will be driven away from you...we would be wise to meditate on what it means to love your wife as Christ loved the church...

Third, absenteeism.  Your kids need a full time dad, not a part time dad...your wife needs a full time husband, a full time friend....and know that it is possible to be home physically all the time but still be an absentee father and husband....

• If you come home late every night
• If your career keeps you from getting involved in your kids’ lives
• If you don’t have time or take time to build your relationship with your wife and children
• If you are too busy or too tired to connect with them emotionally…Then you indeed in danger of being an absentee father even though you still sleep at home.

A recent NBC poll discovered that by the time the average child is 6 years old in America, he/she will have spent more time watching TV than they will spend talking with their fathers during their entire lives.

I heard of a recent study that indicated the average Dad spends 38 seconds a day talking to his children.... just 38 seconds!!

Did you hear the consistent characteristic in those examples...the word average.

A fourth pitfall is aloofness or being aloof.  Men are not usually very relational by nature. They are more “Loners” by nature.  Aloof simply puts means to be emotionally distant, closed, cold, silent, unaffectionate...I want you to know...your wives and your children interpret aloofness as rejection.  This is a pitfall that disguises itself in the costume of discipline and correction....we must be wise, as the bible says, to the tactics of the enemy, and combat them with our weapons...prayer, love, and drawing nearer to our heavenly Father. 

We need to get our priorities aligned dad's.  The power we hold in the lives of our families is nothing short of epic.  I tell you the truth.  Your wife, your children do not want a RICH husband and father nearly so much as they want a righteous husband and father.  A Dad who is available, a dad who is compassionate, a dad who is fair...

Be encouraged dad's...your wives, your children, you may not believe this but they have very very short term memories when it comes to you...you may not feel that way but that is a lie...you today resolve to be all that God has made you to be, enabled you to be for your families and oh how soon they will simply dismiss your shortcomings, your days, weeks even years of autocratic rule, aloofness, or unavailability...love covers a multitude of sin....

One last note before we close...wives...help a brother out.  So many men pour into their careers because they are visibly good at it...people at work give them certificates and emails and applause...no wonder they pour themselves into it...we are wired in such a way that WE NEED approval, we need to know that those around us are rooting for us....we NEED IT!  That’s just how we are and you are the central role in our encouragement...you don't have to...you don't > but you can...you have a power that no one else on this planet has...the power of cheer.  There is nothing better than to think that April thinks I am diligent....there is nothing better than to know that April sees me trying to be available, compassionate, loving...but we need to be told..cheer us on...